BEAT THE COUCH · THE DAILY ARCHIVE · DEALT JUL 28, 2026

Day 17 · The Roaring Reagan Bull

THE SECRET WINDOW: JUL 27, 1982 TO JUL 20, 1984 · 504 TRADING DAYS

On July 28, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: July 27, 1982 to July 20, 1984, the roaring Reagan bull. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $14,809 (+48.1%). 35% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$14,809 (+48.1%)

WORST DRAWDOWN-11% by Jun 15, 1984

WORST SINGLE DAY-4.0% Oct 25, 1982

BEST SINGLE DAY+4.8% Aug 17, 1982

CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+20.2%

The era

The roaring Reagan bull. From August 1982 the market more than tripled in five years. Falling rates, falling inflation, takeovers and leveraged buyouts. The couch did very well here and everybody felt like the couch.

THE EXHIBIT: THE ROARING REAGAN BULL. EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH34.5%

WITH CERTIFIED SKILL21.8%

BY LUCK12.7%

COUCH WINS52.7%

DEAD HEAT9.1%

ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)3.6%

MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH-2.3%

MEDIAN TRADES3

MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET55%

The read

The couch won this one the usual way: 35% of players beat it and the median player finished 2.3% behind the couch. Nothing dramatic happened to the losers. That is exactly the problem.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

The archive has the long version of this stretch: Could You Have Caught the Start of the 1982 Bull Market?

Play the past handthe same two years everyone got on Jul 28, 2026. Free, no signup. No streak, no standings: filed as a REPLAY.

Or play today's hand. It stays secret until tomorrow.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on July 28, 2026?

Day 17 dealt the two years from July 27, 1982 to July 20, 1984, the roaring Reagan bull. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $14,809 (+48.1%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 17?

34.5% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 21.8% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 17 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

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Not financial advice. The couch is not licensed for anything.