BEAT THE COUCH · OFFICIAL PAPERWORK
EFFECTIVE: JULY 24, 2026
These terms cover the BEAT THE COUCH game at beatthecouch.com and the BEAT THE COUCH app on Reddit. By playing, you accept them. They are short, because the couch believes in doing very little.
BEAT THE COUCH is a game of historical market data, played for entertainment and education. You are given imaginary money and two secret years of real S&P 500 history. No real money is at stake, no real trades are executed, and no real investment products are offered.
Nothing in the game is investment, financial, legal, or tax advice. The game exists to demonstrate, with real historical data, how difficult market timing is. Past performance, including the couch's, does not guarantee future results. Do not make investment decisions based on a game in which you lost to furniture.
Do not attempt to falsify scores, automate play, manipulate the ledger or leaderboards, or interfere with the service. We may remove records that we reasonably believe are fabricated. The monkeys check everything.
You may optionally sign in on the website with Google. Signing in stores your game record on our servers so it follows you across devices, and lets us write to you about the game and its app. There are no passwords. You can switch mail off, sign out, or delete the account at any time in the Mailroom; deletion is immediate and removes your record. We may close or remove accounts that are abusive, fraudulent, or created by scripts. Full details are in the privacy policy.
On Reddit, the app can post a score comment on your behalf when you explicitly press the button for it. That comment is yours, posted under your Reddit account, and subject to Reddit's own terms and content policy.
The game, its name, design, text, and code belong to the operator of beatthecouch.com. Market data is derived from publicly available historical sources. You may not copy or redistribute the game itself without permission.
The game is provided as is, without warranties of any kind. We do not guarantee the service will be uninterrupted or error free. To the maximum extent permitted by law, our liability arising from your use of the game is limited to zero, which is coincidentally the number of trades the couch makes.
We may update the game or these terms at any time; the current version is always posted here. We may suspend the service or any feature without notice.
Questions go to lucky@beatthecouch.com. These terms are governed by the laws of the Republic of Türkiye, without regard to conflict of law rules.
BEAT THE COUCH · beatthecouch.com · Privacy Policy