Daily Hand 90: The 1969–70 Bear Market, Aug 1968 to Aug 1970

On October 9, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: August 5, 1968 to August 28, 1970, the 1969–70 bear market. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $9,068 (-9.3%). 75% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$9,068 (-9.3%)

WORST DRAWDOWN-33% by May 26, 1970

WORST SINGLE DAY-2.8% May 25, 1970

BEST SINGLE DAY+5.0% May 27, 1970

CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+13.4%

The era

The 1969–70 bear market. Inflation, Vietnam and the end of the go-go funds. The market fell about a third. The managers who had been rock stars mostly stopped giving interviews.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH75.0%

WITH CERTIFIED SKILL3.6%

BY LUCK71.4%

COUCH WINS10.7%

DEAD HEAT3.6%

ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)10.7%

MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH+6.8%

MEDIAN TRADES4

MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET81%

The read

A falling market, and the humans finally showed up: 75% of players beat the couch. Before anyone frames it, only 3.6% passed the monkey audit. Most of the winners were simply out of the market while it fell, which is not the same as knowing it would.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on October 9, 2026?

Day 90 dealt the two years from August 5, 1968 to August 28, 1970, the 1969–70 bear market. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $9,068 (-9.3%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 90?

75.0% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 3.6% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 90 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

Day 90 · The 1969–70 Bear Market