Daily Hand 79: The QE Bull, Taper Tantrums Included, Jun 2012 to Jun 2014

On September 28, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: June 6, 2012 to June 9, 2014, the QE bull, taper tantrums included. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $15,799 (+58.0%). 5% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$15,799 (+58.0%)

WORST DRAWDOWN-7% by Nov 15, 2012

WORST SINGLE DAY-2.5% Jun 20, 2013

BEST SINGLE DAY+2.5% Jan 2, 2013

CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+0.1%

The era

The QE bull, taper tantrums included. The US lost its AAA rating in August 2011, Europe wobbled, and in 2013 the Fed hinted at slowing its bond buying and markets threw a tantrum. The market kept climbing through all of it.

THE EXHIBIT: THE QE BULL, TAPER TANTRUMS INCLUDED. EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH5.0%

WITH CERTIFIED SKILL5.0%

BY LUCK0.0%

COUCH WINS85.0%

DEAD HEAT0.0%

ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)10.0%

MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH-17.2%

MEDIAN TRADES4

MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET55%

The read

A rising market, which is where timing goes to die. Only 5% of players beat the couch, and the median player finished 17.2% behind it. Every day in cash was a day the couch got paid for sitting still.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on September 28, 2026?

Day 79 dealt the two years from June 6, 2012 to June 9, 2014, the QE bull, taper tantrums included. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $15,799 (+58.0%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 79?

5.0% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 5.0% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 79 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

Day 79 · The QE Bull, Taper Tantrums Included