Daily Hand 71: The Roaring Reagan Bull, May 1983 to May 1985

On September 20, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: May 31, 1983 to May 24, 1985, the roaring Reagan bull. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $12,479 (+24.8%). 50% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$12,479 (+24.8%)

WORST DRAWDOWN-11% by Jul 24, 1984

WORST SINGLE DAY-1.8% Feb 8, 1984

BEST SINGLE DAY+2.8% Aug 3, 1984

CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+19.1%

The era

The roaring Reagan bull. From August 1982 the market more than tripled in five years. Falling rates, falling inflation, takeovers and leveraged buyouts. The couch did very well here and everybody felt like the couch.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH50.0%

WITH CERTIFIED SKILL7.1%

BY LUCK42.9%

COUCH WINS35.7%

DEAD HEAT7.1%

ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)7.1%

MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH+0.6%

MEDIAN TRADES6

MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET73%

The read

A rare one: the market went up and the humans still won 50% of the time. The scares inside the window were deep enough that stepping aside paid. Only 7.1% did it well enough to pass the monkey audit.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on September 20, 2026?

Day 71 dealt the two years from May 31, 1983 to May 24, 1985, the roaring Reagan bull. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $12,479 (+24.8%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 71?

50.0% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 7.1% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 71 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

Day 71 · The Roaring Reagan Bull