BEAT THE COUCH · THE DAILY ARCHIVE · DEALT JUL 18, 2026

Day 7 · The QE Rebound

THE SECRET WINDOW: JUN 22, 2009 TO JUN 20, 2011 · 504 TRADING DAYS

On July 18, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: June 22, 2009 to June 20, 2011, the QE rebound. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $14,418 (+44.2%). 17% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

$10,000 START $14,418 Jun 22, 2009 Jun 20, 2011

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$14,418 (+44.2%)
WORST DRAWDOWN-16% by Jul 2, 2010
WORST SINGLE DAY-3.9% May 20, 2010
BEST SINGLE DAY+4.4% May 10, 2010
CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+0.2%

The era

The QE rebound. From the March 2009 low the market rallied hard on zero rates and Fed bond buying. Most people missed it, waiting for a second leg down that never came.

THE EXHIBIT: THE QE REBOUND. EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH17.0%
  WITH CERTIFIED SKILL14.0%
  BY LUCK2.9%
COUCH WINS73.7%
DEAD HEAT6.4%
ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)2.9%
MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH-9.7%
MEDIAN TRADES6
MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET64%

The read

A rising market, which is where timing goes to die. Only 17% of players beat the couch, and the median player finished 9.7% behind it. Every day in cash was a day the couch got paid for sitting still.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

The archive has the long version of this stretch: Could You Have Bought the 2009 Bottom?

Play the past handthe same two years everyone got on Jul 18, 2026. Free, no signup. No streak, no standings: filed as a REPLAY.

Or play today's hand. It stays secret until tomorrow.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on July 18, 2026?

Day 7 dealt the two years from June 22, 2009 to June 20, 2011, the QE rebound. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $14,418 (+44.2%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 7?

17.0% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 14.0% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 7 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

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