BEAT THE COUCH · THE DAILY ARCHIVE · DEALT AUG 19, 2026

Day 39 · The New Deal Rally

THE SECRET WINDOW: SEP 12, 1932 TO SEP 26, 1934 · 504 TRADING DAYS

On August 19, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: September 12, 1932 to September 26, 1934, the New Deal rally. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $11,349 (+13.5%). 53% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

$10,000 START $11,349 Sep 12, 1932 Sep 26, 1934

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$11,349 (+13.5%)
WORST DRAWDOWN-35% by Feb 27, 1933
WORST SINGLE DAY-8.9% Jul 20, 1933
BEST SINGLE DAY+16.6% Mar 15, 1933
CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+1.5%

The era

The New Deal rally. From the July 1932 bottom the market roughly quadrupled in under five years, while the country was still in the Depression. Nobody rang a bell. Most people who had sold in 1930 never got back in.

Inside this window: the best day in market history (+16.6%).

THE EXHIBIT: THE BEST DAY IN MARKET HISTORY (+16.6%). EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH53.3%
  WITH CERTIFIED SKILL13.3%
  BY LUCK40.0%
COUCH WINS40.0%
DEAD HEAT0.0%
ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)6.7%
MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH+1.2%
MEDIAN TRADES7
MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET70%

The read

A rare one: the market went up and the humans still won 53% of the time. The scares inside the window were deep enough that stepping aside paid. Only 13.3% did it well enough to pass the monkey audit.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

The archive has the long version of this stretch: Could You Have Beaten the 1932 Bottom?

Play the past handthe same two years everyone got on Aug 19, 2026. Free, no signup. No streak, no standings: filed as a REPLAY.

Or play today's hand. It stays secret until tomorrow.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on August 19, 2026?

Day 39 dealt the two years from September 12, 1932 to September 26, 1934, the New Deal rally. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $11,349 (+13.5%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 39?

53.3% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 13.3% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 39 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

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