BEAT THE COUCH · THE DAILY ARCHIVE · DEALT AUG 15, 2026
THE SECRET WINDOW: NOV 9, 2000 TO NOV 14, 2002 · 504 TRADING DAYS
On August 15, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: November 9, 2000 to November 14, 2002, the dot-com bust. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $6,620 (-33.8%). 73% of the players who tried beat it.
THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA
The dot-com bust. The S&P 500 lost about half its value from the March 2000 top. September 11 landed in the middle of it, and the accounting scandals came after. A long, grinding way down.
THE EXHIBIT: THE DOT-COM BUST. EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.
A falling market, and the humans finally showed up: 73% of players beat the couch. Before anyone frames it, only 6.7% passed the monkey audit. Most of the winners were simply out of the market while it fell, which is not the same as knowing it would.
Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.
The archive has the long version of this stretch: Could You Have Beaten the Dot-Com Crash?
Play the past handthe same two years everyone got on Aug 15, 2026. Free, no signup. No streak, no standings: filed as a REPLAY.Or play today's hand. It stays secret until tomorrow.
Day 35 dealt the two years from November 9, 2000 to November 14, 2002, the dot-com bust. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $6,620 (-33.8%).
73.3% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 6.7% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.
Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.
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Not financial advice. The couch is not licensed for anything.