BEAT THE COUCH · THE DAILY ARCHIVE · DEALT JUL 30, 2026

Day 19 · The QE Rebound

THE SECRET WINDOW: NOV 13, 2009 TO NOV 11, 2011 · 504 TRADING DAYS

On July 30, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: November 13, 2009 to November 11, 2011, the QE rebound. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $12,082 (+20.8%). 65% of the players who tried beat it.

THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA

$10,000 START $12,082 Nov 13, 2009 Nov 11, 2011

What the couch did

ENDED WITH$12,082 (+20.8%)
WORST DRAWDOWN-19% by Oct 3, 2011
WORST SINGLE DAY-6.7% Aug 8, 2011
BEST SINGLE DAY+4.7% Aug 9, 2011
CASH INSTEAD (T-BILLS)+0.2%

The era

The QE rebound. From the March 2009 low the market rallied hard on zero rates and Fed bond buying. Most people missed it, waiting for a second leg down that never came.

THE EXHIBIT: THE QE REBOUND. EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.

What the players did

BEAT THE COUCH65.1%
  WITH CERTIFIED SKILL34.9%
  BY LUCK30.2%
COUCH WINS27.0%
DEAD HEAT4.8%
ENLIGHTENED (TOUCHED NOTHING)3.2%
MEDIAN RESULT vs THE COUCH+2.7%
MEDIAN TRADES5
MEDIAN TIME IN MARKET63%

The read

A rare one: the market went up and the humans still won 65% of the time. The scares inside the window were deep enough that stepping aside paid. Only 34.9% did it well enough to pass the monkey audit.

Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.

The archive has the long version of this stretch: Could You Have Bought the 2009 Bottom?

Play the past handthe same two years everyone got on Jul 30, 2026. Free, no signup. No streak, no standings: filed as a REPLAY.

Or play today's hand. It stays secret until tomorrow.

Frequently asked

What was the Beat the Couch daily hand on July 30, 2026?

Day 19 dealt the two years from November 13, 2009 to November 11, 2011, the QE rebound. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $12,082 (+20.8%).

How often did players beat the couch on day 19?

65.1% of the players who filed the hand beat the couch. 34.9% passed the 1,000-monkey skill audit; the rest of the winners were stamped LUCKY.

Can I still play the day 19 hand?

Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.

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