BEAT THE COUCH · THE DAILY ARCHIVE · DEALT JUL 12, 2026
THE SECRET WINDOW: SEP 16, 2014 TO SEP 14, 2016 · 504 TRADING DAYS
On July 12, 2026 everyone who opened the game got the same secret two years: September 16, 2014 to September 14, 2016, the QE bull, taper tantrums included. The couch bought on day one, never sold, and turned $10,000 into $11,160 (+11.6%).
THE COUCH'S $10,000, DAY BY DAY, REAL DAILY DATA
The QE bull, taper tantrums included. The US lost its AAA rating in August 2011, Europe wobbled, and in 2013 the Fed hinted at slowing its bond buying and markets threw a tantrum. The market kept climbing through all of it.
THE EXHIBIT: THE QE BULL, TAPER TANTRUMS INCLUDED. EVERYONE WHO PLAYED WAS THERE.
Too few filings came in that day to say anything honest about the players. The window is real and the couch rode it all the same: it does not need an audience.
Player figures count every official and replayed attempt at this exact hand filed on the day it was dealt, from the run export of October 31, 2026. A win counts as SKILL only if it beats 90% of 1,000 monkeys replaying the same window with the same trade count and the same time in the market. Across the whole ledger the couch wins 62% of 120,800 games.
Play the past handthe same two years everyone got on Jul 12, 2026. Free, no signup. No streak, no standings: filed as a REPLAY.Or play today's hand. It stays secret until tomorrow.
Day 1 dealt the two years from September 16, 2014 to September 14, 2016, the QE bull, taper tantrums included. A couch that bought on day one and never sold turned $10,000 into $11,160 (+11.6%).
Yes. The past hand button deals the exact same window. It is filed as a replay: it does not touch your streak, the daily standings or the public ledger.
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Not financial advice. The couch is not licensed for anything.